in my face

so i praise america for it's freedom and she sucker punches me in the throat. after i left the internet point yesterday i picked up a newspaper. second page side column and booyah. less than half of american teenagers in a national pole could answer simple questions like: when was the civil war fought? or said colombus landed in the states after 1750 etc. etc. way to go. yeah we have the most nuclear footballs so to quote nasty nas "fools don't want beef they vegetarian", but we can't add 2 and 2 so we end blowing ourselves up. i don't really have anything to say about this except if you've got a kid educate the drain on society. this is embarassing.

meat

so yesterday was my last wednesday in desenzano a.k.a my last day off. it was cool becasue one of the guys i work with took me to a friends house for diner. i was introduced to a local dish called spiedo. basically you get a rotiesserie with four prongs; some sage; and veal, chicken legs, a whole rabbit, fatty bacon, and pork ribs. put each one on the skewer one a time with season and sage leaf in between. cook it for 5 hours slathering butter and fat on it every 30 minutes or so; boil some potaotes and booyah. add in about 6 bottles of wine more cheese than you can shake a stick at(what the hell does that mean?) and kill it with 12 loud italian people and the 2 top soccer teams playing on the boob tube and woweey it is amazing.

on a not as cool note i've now had something bad happen 3 times to me. it has really made me apperciate america sense those of you who know me are aware that i am not afraid to bash my homeland. over 7 monthes i have been stopped 3 times by police and shaken down for about 30 minutes for no reason. literally walking to the laundromat(al three time) doing nothing and listening to music. yesterday it happened again and it was the worst so far. i had my ipod and the yanni was cranked so loud i didn't hear this cop calling me. he ran up behind me and grabbed me pretty forcefully and really scared the poop out of me. i turned quickly and guess that threw him off guard so he got in my face. now, my italain has gotten pretty good but a combination of the speed and the accent this guy spoke with i could not understand a thing. i asked him to slow down and told him i was american and this made it worse. "why are you here?", "where are you going?" bullshit shake down and 30 minuteds late he threw my passport at me and told me to beat rudely. i've dealt with my fair share of cops and when i was 15 i was all about talking shit and pushing back becasue i knew i hadn't done anything wrong. as i've gotten older i have learned it is in my best interest just be polite as i was in theis situation, especially because i don't know the laws or my rights here. what was funny about it is it made miss the freedoms that george bush doesn't understand but is so diligent in "defending". if yuor white and not on crack and reding this you probably don0t understand. if your black your with me. being stopped for no reason, then being yelled at, then because you've done nothing wrong being told to "get the fuck out of here" is ridiculous. it was the same as being sat down at linn park on sunday afternoon and being told i was a piece of shit because i rode a skateboard and wore a black t-shirt(all of you whom have ever commented on my affinity to black clothing may realize why it tend to bother me) and i just didn't like it. overall this is a great country and i have no complaints, but the power of the police is a scary thing. while i've ben here there have been people killed and beaten by police and that is never acceptable unless it is the most extreme measures. i'm not changing my opinion on my country or our police i think the later are especially bad; but most folks should realize we have it pretty good. there are problems but at least can't gun you down for no reason(unless you're black and under 25). it is the one thing i look forward to being back around; however as the great ice cube once said"fuck the police!"

-you can only appreciate the freedoms you have when they are abused by those who are sworn to protect them.- i said that mofos

blah

-fog won't go away
-it refuses to get warm but playfully teases
-so chick in the laundromat demanded i get my clothes out of a drier becasue she added money and pressed the wrong button despite the fact i wasn't finished. she yelled i laughed and her husband looked like he wanted to kill himself
-only have 3 days in desenzano then i'm on vacay and i'm excited.
-stoked about coming home to my girlfirend, friends, and family
-unstoked about my home being birmingham
-considering moving to iceland not learning the language, writing an amazing novel, then following john kennedy toole to paradise and securing my self into literary fame 30 yearss from now
-scratch the above i got shit to do

think about it

"the hero of today becomes the tyrant of tomorrow unless he crucifies himself today." - joseph campbell

i've been rereading the hero with a thousand faces, this quote really grabbed me. if you've never read this book do, if you don't want to at least think about the above statement

beware

so today is wierd. desenzano has fog pretty regularly but today it has gotten thicker as the day goes on. you can only see about 3 meters in front of you and it sucks. what makes it worse is shapes appear and move jerkily resembling ZOMBIES!!!! if there was ever a day for the walking dead to roam the earth this is it. zombies are my only fear in life so as you can imagine i am freaking out. i have already stored a butchers knife close to my bed and packed water and food. get ready folks this is it. for those who survive i will see you at sea because that is the only place where we will be safe.

do not sleep and get up some stairs if you have a shotgun load it this is not a test.

can't fool me

so one thing that i have grown pretty accustomed to is the afternoon drink phenomon or apertif trend here. the idea is you may eat at sometime during the evening so you'd beter be hungry and certain liquors help with that so gulp, gulp drink up. yay!!! the usual suspects are campari and aperol. now i ain't been around the world but i've been around the block; i haven't tasted everything but i've tasted campari and it sucks. so i usually opt for an aperol spritzer(aperol, white wine, soda water, and slice of orange). at first i drank them out of kindness for the people that ordered them for me, but now i have grown to enjoy the taste of musk. this is the ebst way i can describe this drink. the real genius however, is in the low alchohol content so it takes a few to really get buzzing. this is the reason that most euros can drink with every meal becasue unlike american alcoholists that opt for whiskey, scotch, listerine, rubbing alcohol, or everclear these guys take the slow approach and mount a crescendoing dunk that peaks around 10 in the evening and results in sleep so you can get up early and start the espresso, nicotine rush that is europe[fun fact cancer does not exist here]. so when i return and you see me sipping a spritzer or god forbid a campari and soda don't make fun; i'll be asleep by 10 with no hangover and you'll be looking for a fix at 2 in the morn at the nick with a bud headache. genius, brilliant!!!!!

be easy

cocaine is really cool and the sole reason that i work in restaurants eventhough i have never done it i'm really into what it does to peoples future; destroy it.
"drugs are the gateway to fun and flat lifelines."-sage francis

1950

so i was thinking about that riddle when a kid and a da get in a carwreck and when they arrive at the hospital the doctor can't operate becasue as stated "this is my son". i'm not usually one to tout about these kind of things but how sexist is this riddle. the doctor turns put to be his mother...suprise! oh my god a woman doctor that is just hogwash. i can just see some white assholes smoking cigars and thinking real hard about this riddle and coming up with nothing; and when they get the answer all laughing and one saying, "yeah and net year we'll have a negro for president!" hahahahahahaha. i don't know why this bothers me but it does. of course the updated y2k california/new hampshire answer is the doctor was also his father because he was adopted by a gay couple. yeah like gay people can be parents they can't even love right. [this is the logic we are dealing with.] the really sad part is there are still a majority of people that agree with all of this nonsense. that is worldwide too so the only escape is death yeehah. what's worse about that is if religious people are right there is eternity. boo! i'm 24 and tired i can't even imagine eternity that would suck, especially if jerry falwell is here so i am really hoping that i am right.

guess which way my thumb is pointed in response to heaven?

is this possible

so i am out of books and the newspaper depresses me too much to read. the only magazines you can get in english over here are music zines and i am tired of radiohead reviews(yes they are very good, and yes the new album is awesome give it a rest.), so i have turned elsewhere. the makers of the source have released hip hop weekly. it is fodder but it enertains and feeds one of my not so secret obsessions: LIL WAYNE weezy f. baby the greatest rapper alive. now i don't agree with that statement(see aesop rock, nas, and guru) but he is most definately enertaining. on top of being quick witted and dope he is also a complete moron who says some of the dumbest things ever got ont tape. case and point "turn on the tv ma i'm fromthe murder capitol of the u.s. where we kill for real. i got 4 tear drops on my face[something gangmembers and prisoners do when they have killed someone]. the day i got my first one i called my mama and asked if i could get it but i lied. i had already got it. she said 'yeah but come round here so i can see it i was thinking about getting one myself.' i kill you, your mama, your sister a baby i don't give a fuck. i could never go to hell i take over the bitch." brilliance if i do say so myself. the hottest rapper on the market is admitting to murder and that is helping him sale records. oh mainstream rap is so amazing. i'm going to make my own music genre wher i live in fantasy too. instead of yachts, cars, and money; i am gong to talk about how i ride unicorns and eat rainbows and kick it with the sun. everyone on acid is my crew

kick i roll one horn before the album drop and eat rainbows because the shiite be hot. no muslim but i will slay you with a lighting bolt handed over by zeus i'm the truth don't even record in a booth i use the river and they produce my sound to your cities and towns i'm global and the there is no hope for all you sucka mogols, your money don't touch my power over space without a trace is how i will exit this place like jesus no corpse and no bones i 'm prone to rock the tric three wheels casue i'm different from ya'll so you ball and i will call shiva to destroy ya booyah can step to the madness and all you spit is sadness and defunct is how i'll leave so please back up to get punched with my mind i'll pry you brain out and sell it for rent i'm bent on hermitism never see me in the heater becasue i don't represent it so if you want it gotta find me i'm out like salinger no bukowski holla

is this potato leavened

so let me broach two completely unrelated subjects. 1st: for a long time i have been an anti jerusalem artichoke advocate. i don't care for the taste of burning styrofoam and this vegetable always seemed one of those food nerd things that is not actually good but all the snobs act like if you don't eat it you are an idiot. that being said i have encountered a different strain of jew choke. over italia way they are purple and not cream colored and have a sweet taste with a bit of starch and make a damn good chip as well as puree. so i guess i'm backing off my stance but i will not be eating the plastic flavored cream variety i don't care if it makes me a philistine. that would make me a giant anyway and i will crush all naysayers.
2nd: i can't say how stoked i am to be missing most of the electoral process in america. i hear enough here to make my want to take the kurt cobain exit strategy. however, it is funny because now there is an election here. it is better because there is only a 2 - 3 month window of campaigning; this is true for most of europe. no 2 years of hillary(please make it stop), or huckabee(seriously this dude does not believe in dinosaurs!). i guess what i'm getting at is it is nice to have a more laid back approach to the process, it helps the disillusionment factor. it is only febuary and i already don't care who wins the presidency because nothing will change. if hillary wins i'm moving, if a republican wins i'm moving. i'm over trying to save america beacause it does not want to be helped. so godbless india because that's where i am going. hello sagwala booyeah!

a tisket a tasket all presidential canidates are out for the cash kid

shout out to lavanda

so i would like to drop a few shout outs to people and things that are on my do not smash list:

notorious j.i.m. joyce and ernie hemingway for inspring and keeping me depressed
air for existing without it i would be all choked up literally
cb ukowski for being the dopest mofo on the planet (r.i.p)
god for not talking to me and making me a profit
cows and pigs for tasting good
aids and crack for keeping poor people where they should be
buster
mavis
r.i.p beppy
apple juice
and last but not least may of 1983 for being sensual enough to get me conceived oh yeah