two for the price of one

so i was on the train yesterday going to a friends house. we stopped at a station and i was staring out the window. i noticed a girl, who actually thought was a dude at first, with normal meidum length hair to the bottom of her ears. suddenly she turned and i realized that the other side of her head had very short little boy hair. this reminded of the hipster i saw in new york a few monthes back in soho. why have only one hair cut when you could have two.[ i would use a question mark but apparantly that button does not work on this keyboard]. i mean two haircuts is awesome. think two face meets brooklyn emo kid a.k.a. totally badass!!!! anyway it made decide when i get back and decide to get a haircut, i have not had one in 6 monthes, i am getting 4. one for each quarter of my head. i am uping the anty. so if you guys want to be in on the badest new trend since pink and headbands get down with the get down at headstart.

dreadmullets f-ing rule

um

so i need verification of a rumor i've heard. we all know that is seems franch leader sarkozy is going to marry former super model carla bruni. i got no problem with that. he's a bachelor and a level headed dude. now; however, i've heard that hugo chavez is dating naomi cambell. come the f on. that is ridiculous. at least get a putin or a brown, someone with some respect. not a castro want-a-be. i mean if you're naomi cambell date castro for petes' sake. whatever i just thought it was wierd.

prepare to poop your pants.

so this is a true story. at the restaurant i'm at we have a bicycle. it is for folks like me with no means of transportation. the japanese kid i work with and i share it. about a week ago he forgot to lock it and it wound up getting stolen. the boss was upset but stoked that his much more exspensive bike that was right next to it did not get stolen. anyways i digress. a couple days afterwards the jap had to go to the train station to meet a friend. low and behold there was the bike. he decided to wait around since he had back up and confront the guy. the dude showed up and it was on, kind of. the jap asked where he got the bike and the guy got all wierd. then he said all he wanted was to get the bike back and there would be no trouble. instead of being a jerk or just saying it was his bike and leaving the dude broke down and a apologized. he had cut our lock off the put his own and he gave the jap 10 euros to buy a new one. i would make all sorts of comments about this except i think this was a once in a lifetime deal. totally amazing. anyways, next time something turns up stole go to the train station

peace be with ye and godspeed

mind your butt

so i was just informed it is snowing in baghdad. apparantly this is the first time this has happened. if you are a biblical scholar like me then you know what this means. it is the coming of god's back up plan the armagaydon. unlike that stupid rapture that happens so quickly this chokes man out. what happens is everyone turns gay but no one likes it. so, we are all gettin pounded prison style with no joy and no babies. slowly but surely man dies out. the kicker already gay people get to be pitcher so all you none gay lovers get ready.

night night keep your butthole tight

hello

so firstly let me address one thing. i do not hate grammar. i am perfectly capable of writing in well thought out and executed form. that being said grammar and spelling on a blog is for people who are in the comfort of their own home; not for people wedged into a western union back room with 8 other people one of which is lookng at porn(right now!) and want to write what they have to as quickly as possible. all of you understand what i am talking about for the most part except for the rants and even i don't understand those. so if all of this is too difficult to understand, understand this you suck.
on to more important things. i spent the holidays gallanting about italy with some friends and my galpal. we saw some stuff to say the least. there was one meal in particular that i feel i need to share with all of you. it was in florence. i have to pause to send a shoutout to ben l. preston esquire for suggesting we eat there. the joint was called the cibreo caffe. they had a ristorante as well which we ate at but the caffe was super special. we entered the place to find 6 or 7 tables and a not so full restaurant. we were greeted with a glass of prosecco and a warm atmosphere. once we were sat the waiter(the only waiter) whom we dubbed "velvet coat" for his style prefrences came by and informed us there was no menu and proceeded to pull up a chair and describe the night's menu dish by dish. this was only after having broken and american restaurant rule by byway of a hand motion letting one of our guest know not to be looking at thier camera because it was food time and there was nothing else important. booyah restarant courtesy. on a side note at the ristorante the following night i had my hand slapped by our waiter when i tried to retrieve a fallen fork with no thought of an apology. so once we had placed our order the magic began. we were brought an array of amuse bouche that were dubbed "gifts from the chef". these consisted of a potato and ricotta flan, and chicken liver mouse crostini, oil cured carrots and peppers, a spicy tripe salad, and tomtato aspic that moonlighted as the butter for the bread. from the getgo i knew i was in for something special because all of these things were delicious. first course took its lazy time but arrived to rave reviews. we had a potato, spinach, and ricotta flan; pasta of bread crumbs and parmasean cheese in a rich chicken broth; the best polenta i've ever had that was served topped with a crisp hat of cheese; then the waiter gave us a traditonal tuscan dish of minestrone blended with bread and server warm(and by gave i mean we did not order and he brought it and told us we had to try it). all of this was amazing and what i liked most was it was not scalding hot. no one i know eats food and sun temperature so to have properly warm food serve was a welcome change from normal restaurant fare. so then it was the main course gala. the dishes were there with bells on and my stomach was decorated to the nines with anticipation. we had chicken and ricotta cheese meatballs witha light tomato sauce, a pork sausage "cassoulet", a cold veal terrine with pistachios and lemon mayonaise, breaded veal shops with heavy tomato sauce served cold(i was thinking of cliff lawler while i ate colf food brotherhood), and another dish on the house a stuffed chicken neck with veal and ricotta cheese mousse with lemon mayonaise and the head of the chicken as decoration. at this point i considered suicide becasue i knew this a meal never to be topped. how many places can you go in the world where on your first visit the waiter/manager says "thanks fo showing up have two whole free dishes on the house"; oh velvet coat you may have made me gay. so then we were allowed ample time for the food to digest and to finish the bottle of brunello we had and this was nice. i felt like going al bundy and unbuttoning my pants and sticking my hands in finger deep and kicking back; but before i could get the louis vutton belt undone it was dessert time. this time the gratis course was a round of vin santo dessert wine. the dishes were a vanilla mouse with strawberry sauce, a cheesecake with orange marmalade, the most amazing chocoalte pudding(my lady does not like chocolate and i am pretty sure she is preganant with this mousses' child), and a flourless chocolate cake. we finished the meal off with a round of espresso and cappucino and were stoked. and as if the anty had not been raised too much on the way out the door we were each couple given a jar ofhousemade jelly to take home and remember the good times with. on top of all this the following night when we ate at the ristorante which was across the street velvet coat invited us back to the caffe for prosecco and grappa and would not let us pay him for it because "we had given him too big of a tip the night before". this is the sound of me swooning, aaaahhhhhhh. if you are ever in florence go to this place and if you don't like it slap yourself in the face.

velvet coat will you marry me?

p.s. added bonus the chef of these restaurants was the younger brother of zeus-ask ben